We hear the term ‘Sex Positive’ being banded about all the time but what does it actually mean?
Well, according to The Urban Dictionary, it’s defined as such:
An approach to sex and human sexuality that embraces the full benefits of sexual interraction as healthy and uplifting, based upon the premise that sexual expression is good and healthy and that societal repression or control of the individual’s sex-drive is bad and unhealthy.
With huge scope for interpretation, this can mean many things to many people depending on where your boundaries lie.However, generally speaking, it boils down to: as long as you are having a nice time, it’s healthy and no one is getting hurt (without consent) then leave everyone to get on with it. Of course, without judgement.
But what do we class as healthy? Obviously, everyone has different tastes and different definitions of sexual acts. Bill Clinton didn’t believe that a blow job is a sexual act…and he was running a country!?
Sex positive doesn’t mean you are an insatiable animal, feeding your sex addiction at all times of the day, permanently locked in a deep dark, chain filled, starring in porn for all to see or running through the streets naked.
It is simply a movement to promote health, safety and acceptance. Does it matter if the gay couple over the road have orgies or the same sex married couple, never have sex at all. So your friend is asexual and has no desire whatsoever. Mr Thingemembob has regular threesomes, the local barmaid has a huge sex toy collection or Derek from the darts team has been celebate for 2 years.
Just enjoying it for what it is. Be it with a partner or alone if needed (or desired) There should be no shame or negative attitude to any of your choices so long as everyone involved has given consent.
It’s not just women who may need a little encouragement with expression or confidence, plenty of men suffer a negatve attitude towards sex. Be it due to body confidence, a bad experience with a partner, a tainted past or upbringing.
Gay, straight, transgender, solitary, roleplay, domination, submission, whether you ar Vanilla or Kink… whatever a person’s preference, if it gives you a shudder, guess what? It doesn’t mean it is wrong..
Sexologist Carol Queen sums it up perfectly – “It’s the cultural philosophy that understands sexuality as a potentially positive force in one’s life, and it can, of course, be contrasted with sex-negativity, which sees sex as problematic, disruptive, dangerous. Sex-positivity allows for and in fact celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires and relationships structures, and individual choices based on consent.”
Exporing your sexuality, owning it, enjoying your body in any way you can, whether with a partner or alone HAS to be a good thing right? Let’s all just accept eachothers choices, needs and desires and get on.
Stay happy, stay positive, stay safe.